Fifth Decade

They say your biggest rival in Formula One is your team mate. And when your team mate has just got pole at your home GP, you do have to dig deep and pull out something special  if you are not to be eclipsed.

Luckily for Lewis, his Finnish teammate is showing all the signs of being another Fisichella - fast over one lap, but scared of all the other cars and drivers when out on the track. Scared to overtake. Too tentative to try. I mean, look at how Alonso in a far less competitive car managed to keep Kovalainnen behind him for so long that Kimi Raikkonnen was able to score enough points to maintain equal first in the WC standings.

But what of Lewis himself? Just having a weak teammate doesn’t really mean you lap everybody up to 3rd place, and finish 66 seconds ahead of the second pace finisher, a remarkably well disciplined Nick Heidfeld who was once described as “being as fast as Schumacher over a single lap” based on their days in the Mercedes Benz junior DTM team.

Another ten laps and Hamilton could have lapped the field. Everyone. Including second place! Let’s hope he relaxes a bit now, Lewis has been a little over-eager at times this year, and it has cost him.

Perhaps he should take up golf - that’s a sport in which the harder you try to hit the ball, the less well you actually do so. But hit the ball when relaxed, and it seems to go miles with little effort. Don’t give up your day job, though, Lewis - we want you to continue racing for Britain for some years - and to be the first Briton since Sir Jackie Stewart to win more than one World Championship.

Ron Dennis has gone on record as saying that Heikki was in “poor physical shape” when they inherited him from Renault. So it is possible that it isn’t balls but brawn that Heikki is missing.

It certainly seems like it is Brawn that Ferrari are missing though. Stefano Domenicali seems to be overly challenged on the strategy front, and has made many mistakes this year. The Ferrari does actually seem to be the fastest car out there, and in Raikkonnen they have one of the fastest drivers around. But if even Honda can get on the podium when Ross is around, perhaps Ferrari will live to regret their witch-hunt of British employees.

As for Alonso, he was a long way behind, wasn’t he? If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen they say. Time for Alonso to hang up his gloves then and just support the Spanish football team and that Wimbledon winning tennis player who will now take up the mantle of most revered Spaniard. Already Alonso is sowing dissension within the team with his threats of leaving, his veiled attacks on Renault, his lack of team spirit. He does like to be the Prima Donna, though, doesn’t he?

Meanwhile, the two wiser dinosaurs of Formula One, Coulthard and Barrichello both had rather different races. Coulthard, in the same car that his team mate qualified in second place in spun out on the first lap, but he really hates racing in the wet even more than he dislikes his back end sliding around. On the other hand, Rubens Barrichello in a car that frequently qualifies in last place, or not far from it, managed to finish on the podium! A brilliant tactical switch to full wets for the short period of rain saw him lapping some 12 seconds a lap faster than rest of the field at one point, and with Brawn’s brains and Rubens’ racecraft who knows how well Honda could soon start doing.

But the day itself belonged to Lewis. He deserved to win, and his composure towards the end of the race was what he needs to remember the rest of the season. He’s a great driver, but over-confidence and over-driving are things he needs to continuously guard against. He can make a small difference to the performance of his car, but even he has to realise that sometimes scoring those extra points for fourth or eighth is more important than going for a win and perhaps in risking everything, achieving nothing as he has done already three times this year.

The second half of the season could be interesting!

To misquote George Orwell

All teams are equal, but some teams are more equal than others.

Specifically, I’m talking about penalties. Lewis Hamilton got a stop and go penalty for an overtaking manoevre that once completed left him not enough room to do anything but miss the chicane, yet Kimi Raikkonnen got nothing for having a piece of metal dangerously hanging off his car as it traversed France’s Formula One GP race track in Magny Cours at speeds of up to 300 kmh. The offending piece of metal eventually flew off the car and could have killed somebody if it had fallen off in a less convenient place. In past years, drivers have been black flagged for having bits of their car hanging off, or at the very least told to make repairs during a pit stop. Ferrari were once again allowed to flout the rules.

Why, why, why?

If Bernie separates F1 from the FIA, it won’t be a day too soon.

Many pundits have apparently been getting at Lewis Hamilton in the British tabloid press. I gave up reading UK newspapers some years ago they invent and write what they want just to sell advertising, no longer the truth as was once the case. But that’s another story.

Whatever, the situation certainly hasn’t been made any easier by McLaren who have completely mucked up Hamilton’s race stategies lately, perhaps because they are giving the second year rookie just too much slack. I mean, he even chose his own teammate this year. Then there’s the McLaren race strategy record which seems to be stuck on “Try to win every race” rather than ‘Focus on the long view and win the Championship”.

That’s very strange because last year Hamilton was Mr Consistency, and was peacefulness and calm personified. This year he has transformed into the rookie that he patently was not last year. This year, the Mr Consistency badge has been taken over by Robert Kubica, who has managed to lead the championship already despite being in a slower car than his rivals.

The problems seemed to begin in those last two races last year, when Lewis only needed 4 points from the 20 available in the last two races to clinch the Championship. Instead of playing it safe, and going for those points, Lewis and the team focussed on winning, winning, winning, on seemingly showing the whole world how superior Lewis was - at all costs.

OK, anyone can make a mistake in their first season, but you would have expected such a harsh lesson to have been learned back then, and not repeated again in 2008. You can clearly see that Kimi aims for every last point: he clearly did learn from last year.

But there we were in Canada, with Lewis not content to just be first, he seemed to be attempting to lap everyone as well. Naturally, he is a gifted driver, and can do things in a car that many others cannot, but clearly he should have been told by his team about the red light, if they didn’t drum it into him before the race. So many drivers have been caught out by this silly rule this year.

So, there we were with Lewis going for track position even in the pit lane when it was clear the other cars were on a lighter fuel load and so not really a threat to him despite being in front coming out of the pits. That was the team’s fault, of course. They have the strategic displays of possible outcomes on their laptops, they should read the race better and provide Lewis with better info in a more timely manner. Like, er, shouting “Red Light!” a bit earlier, perhaps…?

Anyway, after the ten grid position penalty was imposed, it should have been clear that the team should not be focussing on a win in France, but on gathering more points. It seems they took the risky option again though, allowed Lewis his head, and while overhyped and possibly over-confident, the unrestrained Hamilton once again tried to barge into the lead from thirteenth on a track renowned for being difficult - if not next to impossible - to overtake on.

Pre-race interviews with Lewis Hamilton himself clearly showed his over-confident, rap-star influenced ego poking through, and a strategy of light fuel load and soft tyres added to the disbelief that there was any focus at all on winning over the course of the season, rather than just at this race.

Post race interviews with Martin Whitmarsh show this emphasis is unlikely to be changed by anything he will do or say to Hamilton. The McLaren Managing Director went on record saying that Lewis “has got to believe that he can win in Britain and come out on equal points.” Again, no mention of the long haul or the Championship, just another attempt at full points again, like scoring 8 or 6 points is somehow failing.

The team really should be giving Lewis more direction, and more capable direction at that. Still, maybe they are and Lewis listens more to his “friends” now. In one pre-race interview he was talking of a text message he received from a great friend before the race about how greatness comes not from winning a race from the front, but from the rear and fighting your way through. A shame that person didn’t remember how difficult passing at Magny-Cours always is…

Churchill said that “Politics is the art of the possible” and maybe that’s a lot more transferable than we think. But maybe Whitmarsh just doesn’t have the broad grasp of things that Lewis needs him to have. Whitmarsh seems to be no chess player.

No wonder Anthony Hamilton looks glum in the pits these days.

Rumours are that now the FIA have re-elected a President whose primary public image is one of messing about with prostitutes, that the next move is to begin a global campaign to allow kerb crawling motorists to reclaim their fines for engaging the services of prostitutes. Max Mosley, the sad FIA President, has publicly said many times that he sees nothing wrong in engaging prositutes because they are “freely consenting adults”. Clearly a majority of the representatives of the motoring clubs that make up the FIA have come to the same conclusion.

Presumably, they did not think that messing about with prostitutes is morally repugnant nor a support for human trafficking, drug use, or the criminal underworld, or even an abuse against women. Neither it seems did they worry about their own members from the many countries in the world in which prostitution is illegal.

Apparently, many of the member clubs who supported Max Mosley receive money from the FIA. As any prostitute knows first you take the money, then you provide the required service - in this case to Max’s satisfaction.

Are we to conclude then that the lunatics are running the asylum?

If you are a woman, or a social worker dealing with the consequences of the abuse of women, or a feminist, or someone who believes in equality, or someone who has moral fibre, or who has religious affiliations, and are also a member of a motoring organisation then perhaps you should pressure your own motoring organisation to act proactively to do something to reverse this ego-driven abuse of power.

Just to remind you how it all started: the News of The World published a video showing Max Mosley, FIA President and son of the pre-war British Fascist party leader Sir Oswald Mosley engaging in a sado-masochistic orgy with three prostitutes in a concentration camp setting. The FIA represents the views of the world’s drivers in discussions with governments and other interested parties.

Oh dear. Poor Sutil. Pranged from behind in the Monaco GP held around the streets of Monte Carlo. Hit by the flying Finn forgetting Ferrari has poor grip on cold tyres. Forgetting that tyres cool down during safety car periods - especially when it’s wet. C’mon Kimi, we expect better from you than that!

Well done to Adrian Sutil though, a great race. You’ve just had your Alesi moment… (the one that got Alesi his reputation, when after being overtaken by Senna he immediately took Senna back at the next corner, thus ensuring nobody ever questioned Alesi’s driving skills from that moment on - rightly or wrongly). People will notice you now. Your career can only go up from here!

Well done Hamilton too, despite your self-inflicted early puncture. Coming back to earth a bit after last year are we? About time. Nice win though; shame about the safety car when you had a 40 second lead…

Ferrari went testing in Barcelona today. And lapped two and a half seconds faster than anyone else, including McLaren. Now, that isn’t a normal difference: they’ve added something new to the car.

Ground Effect.

Autosport reports that the new nosecone they used today has two slots in it that transfer air from a high pressure area between the front wing up to the low pressure area just behind the front of the nosecone and in front of the driver. This means they are in effect creating more suction between the car and the road, creating more grip. Further, this air is then channelled over the rear wing to provide more downforce. In addition, it stabilises the flow of air into the engine air intake to help with engine power.

You have to hand it to Ferrari, this is quite clever. But is it legal? Well, not for McLaren, or Williams. But as we know, Ferrari are seen to get special treatment. Or is that over, now that Max’s little secret is out? Or maybe Ferrari were actually restrained by Max, and they are taking advantage of his current weakness to launch this controversial new design.

But why was Ground Effect made illegal? Well, if you significantly increase the suction the car has in corners, imagine what will happen if it suddenly loses it. Nosecones fall off or self-destruct all the time: from  collisions with other cars as happened to Lewis Hamilton in Bahrain, or even from just hitting a kerb as happened to David Coulthard earlier in the season.

Of course, if we want more overtaking, then we really do need some changes, and some have been planned for 2009. Slicks are coming, and downforce is going. Well, not all of it, but a lot anyway. So this new Ferrari Ground Effect system will tilt the playing field again.

Damon Hill said fat slicks and good mechanical grip would do the trick, and that cars had too much downforce these days for any overtaking to take place. Well, if Ferrari stay 2.7 seconds per lap ahead of the competition, just when life was getting interesting with more than ten cars being separated by less than 1 second at the last race, then we can forget about overtaking.

Never mind overtaking, we can forget about racing, as it will just be Ferrari, and we can forget about a Championship, as it will be a foregone conclusion, with Ferrari winning every race.

Who wants to watch that? That’s what happened a couple of years ago when TV figures for F1 plummeted when Ferraris were winning everything, and Schumacher’s contract forbade his team mate from beating him. Heck, that year even I gave up watching F1 on TV for the first time since my father died, the only day I  had missed in the previous twenty years. That season I missed about 12 races! Looks like I’ll be doing something similar this year…

This week every other news item seems to be about some luminary, or thinks-he-is-a-luminary, exhibiting remarkable powers of denial over reality. Here are the shockers that most immediately come to mind:

Zimbabwe

Robert Mugabe is clearly in denial about having been defeated in the recent elections. Not only has the result not been made public, it’s actually been made into a state secret! Having said that, the ruling Marxist Zanu-PF party are making preparations for a re-run. Except nobody knows if that is correct or not, since the results have not yet been released, two weeks after the election was held, and one week after the results should have been released.

Latest news is that 23 constituencies will have a recount (because the electorate got it wrong, obviously) despite there being a time limit of 48 hours in which to lodge a recount request, which can only be issued after the results have been released, which they still haven’t been! Naturally, one suspects these specific 23 recounts have been planned because within the last two weeks, Mugabe supporters have been busily establishing they are the constituencies which need the fewest votes to be re-written, and have managed to rewrite them by now.

Finally though, the leaders of the countries surrounding Zimbabwe seem to be considering ending their state of denial that anything needs to be done in Zimbabwe and are actually saying things that should have been said years ago.

South Africa

In South Africa, Thabo Mbeki, that well known advanced intellect who was busily claiming there was no crisis in the ANC leadership as he sped to defeat at the hands of his rather more charismatic colleague - yes I know that could be anyone so I’ll be more specific and say defeat at the hands of his colleague, Mr Zuma, for leadership of the ANC - has now been saying there is no crisis in Zimbabwe either (never mind the electoral irregularities, starvation, 100,000% annual inflation, 80% unemployment and general economic collapse that has pushed 3 million refugees into Zimbabwe’s neighbours’ lands).

Even more, Megabrain Mbeki has gone on record to say that it was in the law that Zimbabwe could hold a run-off election. Yes, Thabo, but first of all they have to release the results of the first one! How else do you know they need a run-off?

Monaco

Changing tack to look at someone who hasn’t exactly been caned in an election (just caned) is Max Mosley who has been busily protesting that he has done nothing wrong in procuring the services of five hookers for a five hour orgy of sado-masochistic concentration camp style German language corporal punishment and sex. Someone ought to give Mr Mosley an education in the ways of the world, the law, and morality.

Prostitution supports the drug industry, human trafficking, and other unsavoury and associated criminally connected pursuits, and the women involved seldom sign up to it as the long-awaited fulfillment of their childhood dreams. Yes, Max Mosley, you did do something wrong.

London

In the town of Max’s recent denouement, another nobody-cum-luminary, Alastair Darling, the Chancellor of the Exchequer (the UK Finance Minister) who knows how to do what his boss says, is in denial about the strength of response of the UK Government to the sub-Prime crisis. He was on the BBC TV news on Saturday trying to pass the blame for the lack of response from the banks to the Bank of England’s recent 0.25% cut in interest rates. They have not all reduced the mortgage rates they charge borrowers.

Well, what did he expect? The ramifications of the sub-Prime crisis are far larger than can be fixed by a quarter point cut: the US Federal Reserve reduced rates by 3.0% and fed over $200 billion into the banking system across the board in exchange for (some of) the bad sub-Prime based collateral that is at the root of the problem. The UK Government just pledged a large portion of that sum to a single bank that would have otherwise have gone bankrupt.

But he’s clearly in denial about a quarter point cut being enough - the banks have to rebuild their reserves, and will be doing this in any way they can - a wider savings rate to mortgage rate differential, higher charges, more charges.

So, there we are, an unusually high tally of high-ups who need to do some mental press-ups to avoid having to wear hold-ups or hold dress-ups. Yes, it’s a giant cock up by the stuck up for the fucked-up.

I hope it’s a hiccough.

The nice thing about Formula 1 is its unpredictability. Well, this weekend, anyway. Never mind the unusual shenanigans happening off the track in Chelsea dungeons, on the track we are having quite a year. Quite rightly the Crown Prince of Bahrain insisted nothing would be allowed to distract us from the racing, despite all the salacious gossip in the press worldwide.

At Bahrain, there were one or two surprises. Swiss based BMW Sauber now lead the F1 Constructors Championship. Robert Kubica gained pole in a car that was clearly not the fastest at the event. Raikkonnen didn’t win. Massa did. Kovalainen beat Hamilton and got the fastest lap in not the fastest car on the circuit. Toyota actually beat their customer team, Williams. And the start was not chaotic. Presumably all that wind they experienced today - about 20 to 30 kmh gusting along the pit straight - distributed the sand fairly evenly and so the expected advantage of being on the racing line on the grid was not as great as it might have been.

OK, Hamilton cocked up big style at the start. He admitted to Autosport later that he hadn’t been able to put the mapping into “launch mode” quickly enough. I thought there were supposed to be no driver aids this year? So what’s all this talk about then?

Anyway, he was gobbled up by the pack quicker than you can crack a whip, falling from 3rd on the grid to 10th place by the end of the first lap. It didn’t help that he miscalculated just how slow the Renault was out of that corner and so ran into the back of the renegade in the Renault on acceleration, dropping himself down to 18th after pitting for a new nose. If he hadn’t have fluffed the start though, he wouldn’t have been anywhere near the middle of the pack. Looks like he’s having the kind of experience most other newcomers to F1 have in their first years in slower cars. For most of the race he was lucky to be racing with the Fisichella Force India over 13th place. 

Looking at the scores on the doors, McLaren have gone backwards since the beginning of the year scoring first 14, then 10 and now just 4 points as a team. Ferrari on the other hand has got better and better, with scores of 1, 10 and today top marks with 18 out of 18. BMW meanwhile have been more consistent, edging forward bit by bit with scores of 8, 11, 11 so far this season. BMW’s slow but deliberate progress clearly comes from the calm way that merry Mario Theissen runs things. More to come, I think.

So, now we have to wait three weeks for Barcelona, where we will see if any teams have made any leaps forward, or by standing still be going backwards. Up until now they have been away from home, and although teams as rich as Ferrari can ferry failed engines to their factory for analysis and problem solving in the week between the Australian and Malaysian GPs, most teams do not have such a $500 million budget. So, most changes - particularly to everyone’s aerodynamic packages - have had to wait until the return to Europe before they can be installed.

Hopefullly, the ITV commentary team will learn to observe and talk about what is actually happening next time, and not bore us with inane tales of gossip picked up around the paddock while something interesting is happening on the track. The usual character is of course to blame - Martin Brundle is, as always, superb. If only his colleague would watch the monitors while he is talking we might get some synchronisation between what he is saying and what we can see happening for a change.

Nice lap, Robert. Light fuel load? No matter, pole is pole. I could hear the cheers from Warsaw from here!

I’ve always liked Poles - those of the thousands who live in the UK have all been pretty decent people. Friendly, welcoming and hospitable. Considering they faced death if they went back to their home country while it was under Russian domination, they always showed a phlegmatic sense of National pride, duty and patriotism tinged with sadness at their and their country’s loss.

It’s really nice to see such a friendly, determined and heroic people rise up and compete on the world stage in what is something that would only be possible in a non-communist world. Formula One. And Robert Kubica - today, you must be Poland’s hero. Best wishes for the race - chill out and don’t let your nerves get to you this time…

Talking of nerves, let’s see if Massa can keep it on the track this time. He really needs to finish! Never mind fighting for position, he just needs to keep it on the track. For a change. Maybe no traction control really does separate the men from the boys? And Massa right now is looking more and more like a boy…

As for the boy Hamilton, well, the boy done good. As Our ‘Enery would say. At a track where the Ferraris are clearly dominant (I am assuming they have more fuel on board than Kubica) pushing Raikkonnen down to 4th was no mean achievement.

Not sure why James Allen boo-booed again on ITV saying that it was good Hamilton was ahead of Alonso. Err, yes James. If you haven’t noticed yet, Alonso is in a Renault, and lucky to even get into final qualifying. There is no way he will be a contender this year - he couldn’t stand the heat, so he got out of the (McLaren) kitchen. At least James Allen explained the difference between what ITV calls the “hard” and “soft” tyres and the drivers call the “Prime” and “Option” tyres. Nice to see F1 moving to BBC next year though I am sure there are some good people in the ITV team as well.

Hamilton along with Kubica is on the grippy side of the track too, as is Kovalainen, unlike both Ferraris who are on the slippery side - but on the inside of the first corner. Should be an interesting start!

There’s going to be mayhem into Turn One. Kubica will get off into the lead, Hamilton will follow him, but the Ferraris will try to move over to the left asap to get onto the grippy side of the track with Raikkonnen overhauling Massa who will be desperate not to go off and therefore more cautious. This will then leave space on the right side of the track for those starting from fifth and below who may pile into the Turn One with too much speed on the slippery, sandy part of the circuit, not being able to stop and giving a few cars a light tap here and there. At least the strengthened, Adrian Newey designed Red Bulls will be less likely to explode this week! But we’ll see. The picture I’ve just described is just one (rather obvious) possibility.

And we all know that in Formula One strange things can happen. On and off the track. As we have recently found out. Bahrain is going to be a cracking GP.

But one thing you won’t hear this weekend is anyone saying “Bah. Rain.”

Do you remember that old saying - why should I tell him he’s an ass when he does such a good job of proving it all by himself?

Well, I did write something about Max Mosley and F1 here. It was just written a little while ago, but still seems to be quite popular.

Enjoy the Max and Burnie show…